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Author's Chapter Notes:
WARNINGS: lime, twisted humor, scary chibis.

Once there was an old cabin waaaaaay out in the woods. Why? Because that's where log cabins always happen to be. Anyway, there's this old cabin out in the woods and in it lived a sweet, kawaii, grumpy little accountant with the bossy, blond love of his life. The grumpy little accountant had good reason to be grumpy, his blonde love was gone allllll day working in the woods. Well, truthfully, when the bossy blond man said he was working in the woods, he meant The Woods, a gay nightclub located just outside of town. So the kawaii accountant sat around the cabin all day alone, plotting to move to a lob cabin waaaaaaay way way far away from The Woods in the woods. Because to move so very far away from town (and the resident gay nightclubs) required lots of money, the kawaii little accountant was very stingy. He was so very stingy that every night, when his gorgeous blond love would come home, they had beans for supper. Beans beans beans, every single night. What can I say? It must have helped with the heating costs. So anyway, the lovely blond man had a tendency to ignore his kawaii little accountant, even about important things like the medium sized hole that had been blasted in the wall behind the stove. Things like that made the cranky little accountant even crankier. Sometimes even the mind-blowing sex wasn't enough

It was after once such bout of no holds barred, kinky as hell, wake up the neighbors 5 miles away if they'd had neighbors so close, 20 page written out, citrusy goodness that the little accountant first heard the noise. A low skritching sound, like that a stove would make being pushed across the wood floor away from the wall of a cabin. It was followed by the soft stamp of little feet.

"Do you hear that?" The not so much grumpy as nervous accountant squeaked.

"'s just the wind," The sleepy and, for the moment, sated blond man mumbled.

The patter of little feet was louder now... almost like... the now very frightened accountant jerked upright in bed, glancing wildly about. There! In the doorway! The moonlight glinted off of glowing green eyes and sleek black hair on something small crouched in the doorway. The accountant screamed.

The startled blond jerked upright, fumbling around until he had lit the oil lamp on the bedside table which had, miraculously, not been disturbed by their earlier antics. There was nothing there.

"Quit imagining things," the now grumpy at being awakened blond grouched, rolling over and closing his eyes.

"I wasn't! There was something there!" The scared little accountant huddled close to his love, glancing about wildly. "It had glowing green eyes and black hair!"

"Then maybe it was a cat or something. Go to sleep." The blond's tone booked no argument, but the poor little accountant stayed awake until nearly dawn, scared that whatever it was might return.

"Look! Look there!" The accountant's voice trembled as he pointed out the stove that had been scooted out away from the wall.

"Oh sweetie, don't get so hysterical," The blond flipped his curls, pushing the stove back against the wall. "Now I'm off to work in The Woods, be a good dear and mind the house, all right?"

The kawaii accountant pouted in that adorable way of his, but nodded. Arguing wouldn't do him any good. If only his love weren't so stubborn!

The unworried blond did put a wedge under the stove so it couldn't be pushed out, at the paranoid accountant's insistence. They spent the next several nights in happy smut, undisturbed my any glowing green-eyed figments of the accountant's imagination. It was probably just some stray cat anyway. Then the blond announced that he needed to go to town to stock up on provisions; firewood, oil for the lamp, beans, lube, a new paddle, just the essentials. It was such a long trip he'd probably stay overnight. There was much pouting and whining but finally the lonely little accountant accepted it.

That night his fears returned tenfold. His strong brave love wasn't there to protect him... what if the strange thing came back? His Choco Cat Vibrator wouldn't do as much of a weapon, even if it did normally make him feel a little better when his blond love was gone at night. Finally, despite his fears he was drifting off to sleep when he heard it. Soft little sounds, as if the wedge under the stove was being slooooooowly worked loose. Then the scritching sound of the stove being shoved back from the wall. The scared to death accountant choked back a whimper as he heard the heavy little tread start towards his room. He was torn between hiding under the covers and watching with wide eye what was coming. Watching won. The now full moon lit up the room enough for him to see the small shape enter his room. The demented chibi had shoulder length black hair, a tiny business suit, and the same evil glowing eyes he remembered. He was frozen as it slowly marched across the floor, an evil smirk on its little lips. It sprung up onto his bed and a tight little whimper worked its way out of his throat. This couldn't be happening! As it slowly crept closer and closer to him, intent on doing whatever evil deed evil chibis do, he did the only thing he could.

He stabbed it.

Right in the eyes.

With the vibrator.

It let out an unearthly howl and fled from his bed, cursing in squeaky German. The brave little accountant almost wet himself right there. Rather than have to change the sheets and do laundry early, he decided on a less troublesome course of action. He fainted.

He woke up to the very pleasant sight of his love sprawled out on the bed beside him, a come hither look on his handsome face and the Choco Cat up his ass, purring away. Apparently squished eyeball juice works just fine for lube. The accountant forgot all about the scary events of the past night as he was thoroughly and creatively ravished by his blond love who had had the car break down on him and ended up sitting at the car shop all night, rather then getting lucky in The Woods.

He decided not to mention what had happened, out of fear of being teased and not believed. He did, however get his talented blond love to nail boards over the hole in the wall. It paid to be careful.

He had almost decided the whole thing was just a bad dream until one night, some time later. His blond love was fast asleep, but something had awakened him. There! There it was again! A scritching at the windowpane and a soft German accented voice. "My eye.... Where's my eye? Who's got my eye?"

The accountant squeaked and buried himself under the covers, but he could still hear the voice.

"My eye... where's my eye? Who's got my eye?"

The voice sounded... louder? But the hole had been nailed up! There was no way the chibi could be in the room, unless... The window! Had he remembered to lock it?

"My eye... where's my eye? Who's got my eye?"

It was louder! It had to be in the room. He needed to wake up his love, but he couldn't move

"My eye... Where's my eye? Who's got my eye?"

Oh no! It was on the bed now for sure. Still he couldn't move.

"WHO'S GOT MY EYE?!" The chibi bellowed.

"He does! He's got your eye!" The accountant screamed.

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