Time: Wednesday, 09:56:03
From: dorianred@yahoo.co.uk
To: magnum44@yahoo.de
Subject: Tomorrow
Dear Major:
Have privileged info that tomorrow is your birthday. Best wishes and shall I swing 'round about half past 7:00 for dinner?
Eroica, with love
___________________________
Time: Wednesday, 10:32:56
From: magnum44@yahoo.de
To: dorianred@yahoo.co.uk
Subject: RE: Tomorrow
Eroica:
Fuck off.
Eberbach
___________________________
Time: Wednesday, 12:01:15
From: dorianred@yahoo.co.uk
To: magnum44@yahoo.de
Subject: Grumpy Bugger
Dear Major:
Come dear, that is no way to treat old friend! Scoffing at friendly invitation, blatant disregard for civility. Mustn't spend birthday alone. Drinks at least.
Eroica, with much-bruised love
___________________________
Time: Wednesday, 13:15:09
From: magnum44@yahoo.de
To: dorianred@yahoo.co.uk
Subject: RE: Grumpy Bugger
Bloody wanker:
Quite happy to spend birthday alone. Alone preferred to foppish, perverse company who can't keep hands to self.
Reiterate: Fuck off.
Eberbach
____________________________
Time: Wednesday, 13:46:29
From: dorianred@yahoo.co.uk
To: magnum44@yahoo.de
Subject: Plans, Nonetheless
Dear Major:
Repeated disregard for friendly invitation makes caring dificult, but care I must. Shall vow to keep hands to self. Drinks at 8:00. Will find you.
Eroica, with chaste, well-behaved love
____________________________
Time: Wednesday, 16:56:03
From: magnum44@yahoo.de
To: dorianred@yahoo.co.uk
Subject: target practice
Obstinate Cow:
Will shoot you if you come near me tomorrow.
Eberbach
____________________________
Time: Wednesday, 16:56:32
From: magnum44@yahoo.de
To: dorianred@yahoo.co.uk
Subject: addendum to target practice
Aforementioned Obstinate Cow:
Not kidding.
Eberbach
____________________________
Time: Wednesday, 17:30:22
From: dorianred@yahoo.co.uk
To: magnum44@yahoo.de
Subject: Revision
Dearest belligerent Major:
Tell me something I don't know.
Plan Revision: Meet you at the Schloss for drinks, keep hands to self, promise to stay away for three whole months.
Eroica, with persistent love
____________________________
Time: Wednesday, 18:05:48
From: magnum44@yahoo.de
To: dorianred@yahoo.co.uk
Subject: trauma-induced coma
Idiot Fop:
Deal. Come by. Bullet in brain should keep you in hospital at least six months. If dead, all the better.
Eberbach
THURSDAY
Time: Thursday, 11:44:23
From: dorianred@yahoo.co.uk
To: magnum44@yahoo.de
Subject: Happy Birthday!
Good Morning Major:
Looking forward to our engagement. Shall bring the Moselle.
Eroica, with not-scared-of-you-so-there love
____________________________
Time: Thursday, 15:02:47
From: magnum44@yahoo.de
To: dorianred@yahoo.co.uk
Subject: happy homicide
Limey Git:
Forget Moselle. Bring raincoat to protect pansy clothing from copious amount of blood. Also, list of next-of-kin.
Eberbach
____________________________
Time: Thursday, 19:07:38
From: dorianred@yahoo.co.uk
To: magnum44@yahoo.de
Subject: Out the Door...
Darling Major:
Most thoughtful to consider my wardrobe, shall make note of suggestions.
Eroica, with last-minute love
FRIDAY
Time: Friday, 12:57:13
From: dorianred@yahoo.co.uk
To: magnum44@yahoo.de
Subject: Last Night
Dearest Major:
So sorry to have been unable to keep hands to self. Felt morally obligated after you failed to do same. Marvelous evening, however. Stars fell. Angels wept.
Eroica, with most ardent love
____________________________
Time: Friday, 01:06:37
From: magnum44@yahoo.de
To: dorianred@yahoo.co.uk
Subject: RE: Last Night
Eroica:
Ridiculous, foppish, romantic drivel. Have once again proven self to be moron.
Eberbach
____________________________
Time: Friday, 01:10:45
From: dorianred@yahoo.co.uk
To: magnum44@yahoo.de
Subject: Tonight
Iron Klaus:
Repeat tonight, then?
Eroica, with hopeful love
____________________________
Time: Friday, 01:12:03
From: magnum44@yahoo.de
To: dorianred@yahoo.co.uk
Subject: ASAP
Eroica:
You bet.
Eberbach