When Major Klaus Heinz von dem Eberbach agreed to the unthinkable, agreeing to a relationship with him, Dorian had been ecstatic. Finally his dearest dream was to be realized, or so he thought. Who knew things could go downhill so fast.
*****About two weeks ago****"Do you want me? Tell me, darling?"
"Oh yes, Dorian"
"Do you want me to touch you?
"Yes, please yes please!"
"Do you want me inside you?
"Oh Yes YES AHHH!"
"Um, Klaus, Darling, I haven't even touched you yet."
".. Sorry"
"Sorry?"
"It just sort of happened."
"Can you, well--"
"I don't think so."
"Oh."
**** Similar conversation had taken place the next several nights****"That was. Wow."
"Klaus, I've barely entered you."
"Oh, well I guess you can keep going."
"..."
"What?"
"Can't you at least pretend? Moan or something, you're just laying there looking bored."
"Well sorry."
"It's all right, darling."
*****But it wasn't all right, not really****"Klaus, maybe you could go see a doctor?"
"Why the hell should I do that? I'm not injured."
"Well, but your problem."
"I don't have any f-ing problem."
"But..."
"I don't have any problem! Just because I'm not horny every moment of every day doesn't mean.."
"OK! I believe you, darling!"
*****I think you can see where this is going*****Dorian just couldn't stand it. Iron Klaus was fast on the draw, and shot his Magnum with ease, but who knew he took hours to reload it? Who would have though Iron Klaus was more like wet noodle Klaus when off duty? It was frustrating, to say the least!
****Which brings us to the present.****"Klaus, I." Dorian paused, taking a deep breath. "I just don't think it's working out. I love you, really I do, but..."
Klaus looked up from reading the paper in bed. "But what?"
"But I, well, I'm not satisfied," Dorian blushed softly.
"You fell in love with Iron Klaus expecting me to be absolutely wonderful at everything, and found out you'd gotten just Klaus, a perfectly human man with human flaws." Klaus spoke softly, looking sad but resigned.
"Oh no! Not flaws, just chemically we're not as compatible as I thought. Do you think we could still be friends?" Dorian bit his lip, knowing he sounded pathetic. "It would be for the best." Dorian searched Klaus's face, looking for what? Finally, the silence was a little too loud. "I'm going to run out and get a few things, would you like anything Maj.. err darling?" Dorian began getting dressed.
"I'm fine, thank you."
Quietly, sadly, Dorian slunk out.
It was only a few minutes later than the door creaked open, one bright little eye peering in.
"What is it, stingybug?" Klaus growled.
"The Earl has left to go shopping." The door pushed open just a little more. "He didn't look happy."
"Well then what are you waiting for?"
With a happy little shriek James dashed across the room, throwing himself into Klaus' lap and hugging him tight, causing all the breath to leave his body with a whoosh. "Did it work, did it work?" He bounced excitedly.
"Of course it worked." Klaus gasped, catching his breath, tousling the dark curls. "The things I do...do you know how hard it is to fake something like that? The Earl is a damned attractive man."
"But you did it for me?" James snuggled happily, burying the side of his face against the other man's neck.
"Yes, I did it for you." Klaus sighed, trying to sound put out, but it came across as more what it actually was, happy and contented. And to think the Earl was convinced that James pitched such a horrible fit when he was around Klaus was because he was jealous of the Earl's affections.
End.... or is it?
An afterword by kumiko!(half an hour later, on the shopping strasse...)
Z: My lord - you came after all!
Dorian: *sidling up to him* I've told you, dear boy, it's *Dorian* and *yes* I've come because you were right. You're *ever* so much better in bed than him...
Z: Shall we go? I'd be happy to... console you, in any way I can...
Dorian: I can think of a few ways...
*they disappear into the crowd*