Subordinates always get the worst, most boring jobs, Agent Z thought with a hint of anger, while carrying a sheaf of reports to the MajorÕs desk.
Why? He snorted. Why I, of all people, have to do this?
The Major had just been urgently called to the ChiefÕs office to discuss about God-knew-what Ð probably nothing really important, because it had been quite some time since the Major had gone out of the room; if it had been a new mission or a Neo-Nazis attack, the Major would have hurried back to the room and started to give orders to the Alphabet.
Instead heÕd given everyone a thirty-minute break and stormed out of the room.
Well, everyone but Z and G. G because he had to finish writing his report, Z because ÒI need someone to reorganize reports and to answer the phone while IÕm awayÓ, as the Major had said before. HeÕd also added, in a low voice, that Z was the only one he trusted enough to let him touch his things.
Z had felt like snorting at those words. You liar, heÕd thought, you would have done better to say you needed someone to do things you donÕt want to do later.
Naturally, his devotion and, mostly, his being a lower-ranker hadnÕt allowed him to give voice to those thoughts, so heÕd muttered a Òyes, sirÓ as always, and now he was stuck there, buried in boring paper work, cursing everything he could think of.
Damn superiors, damn reports, damn phones! He kept saying in his mind.
Plus, GÕs presence wasnÕt helping a bit.
The agent had his face hidden behind his report, as if he were totally caught up into it. Though his behaviour was quite strange: the other agent was unusually quite, and from time to time Z heard a delighted giggle coming from behind the report.
What's so fun about writing reports? The blond wondered. Not even the Major enjoys it.
After a few minutes Z got tired of hearing the cross-dresser giggling and walked towards his desk. He leaned his head past the report.
"Are you all right?" he asked, pulling the sheet of paper aside. Then horror washed over his face at what he saw.
"What?!" he shrieked, his voice ridiculously high and scandalized.
G shot him an innocent look "What have I done?"
By then Z was horrified. "What have you done indeed? Don't you feel the least bit of shame for your actions? I mean...you...you're...Ó he tried to put enough strength in his voice to cover up his shock and frighten the other agent, but G seemed to find him amusing, so amusing that he started to laugh hysterically, hiding his mouth behind his hand.
"So what?" he replied within giggles.
ÒSo what?! YouÕre supposed to work, not to fucking read gay Kama Sutra behind your report! YouÉyou pervert!Ó Z finally shouted out. That would have been the kind of thing the Major would have said, and he felt proud of himself for a moment. He tried to snatch that indecent book out of GÕs hands, but the other agent held it back with a pout.
ÒOh, what a bloody nuisance, Tset! You sound exactly like the Major! IÕm just trying to have fun, why canÕt you just do the same?Ó
Z insisted. ÒDamn you, G! YouÕll have fun in Alaska if the Major or anyone else walks in!Ó He was trying to be intimidating, but he was obviously doing it wrong since G wasnÕt the least bit afraid.
Finally, won by embarrass, Z lowered his head. What a shame! He thought, in despair. Are my co-workers really this sick? His cheeks were burning and had surely turned to a deep red.
G looked at him, crossing his arms to his chest. ÒYouÕre ridiculous, Tset.Ó
ÒOh, really? look whoÕs talking! IÕm not the one reading indecent books during working hours!Ó
ÒHas the Major finally managed to turn you into a blindly devoted officer?Ó
ÒYou should try to be one, too, from time to time.Ó
ÒOh, come on, whatÕs so wrong about a bit of fun? You canÕt stay here rotting all day! Look, nobody will walk in, and weÕve still got more than twenty minutes to do whatever we want and nobody will notice, unless reports can talk! You just have to keep your mouth shut and not to tell the Major about this. Are you able to keep a secret from him, Tset?Ó G looked at him hopefully.
ÒWellÉIÉhemÉÓ Z babbled, his hand on the handle of the door, trying to choose what to do between reporting G to the Major or stay there and cover the transgression up.
Finally he gave a discomforted sigh. ÒGut. Read those indecent magazines if you wish. I donÕt want to hear any more about it,Ó he said, then he banged his head against the wall. Hard. He felt he would have regretted that choice later.
G smiled happily, like a child whoÕd just been given a toy. He kept reading, not bothering to hide the book behind the report.
All the while Z stood near the doorframe, his ears ready to catch the loud footsteps, which would have signalled the MajorÕs arrival just in time.
Why am I doing this? For a moment he wished he were a little more egoist: that would surely have avoided him to risk fucking up his career only to save a co-workerÕs ass. IÕll go to Alaska for this, I feel it. He was tense, nervous, and G didnÕt miss to notice it.
ÒTseeeet!Ó he called in a mocking tone. ÒWhy donÕt you have a bit of fun, too, instead of standing there all on your own?Ó
Z fought the urge to scream Òfuck offÓ to the other agent. ÒGÉmaybe you havenÕt understood it yet: I donÕt want to go to Alaska! Plus, I donÕt exactly find such sick, perverted things funny!Ó
Again, G made fun of his efforts of being masterful and faithful to his duty. ÒCome on, Tset! Trust me, we wonÕt go to Alaska, because the Major will never find out we neglected our duty. Now, please, stop being so bossy and loosen up!Ó
ÒOk, ok!Ó Z answered. ÒLetÕs Òhave funÓ!Ó Then, in a lower tone, he added ÒAnd, mostly, letÕs hope nobody walks inÉÓ
He was resigned: he wasnÕt able to be authoritarian like the Major. That just wasnÕt his role.
He nodded, disconsolate. ÒNow, what are you planning to do?
G smiled, a happy, yet malicious smile. Z felt a shiver down his spine when G gestured to him to come nearer.
ÒCome here, sit next to me,Ó G pointed to the chair near his. When Z sat down, he waved the sinful book before his eyes. ÒYou know,Ó he started. ÒAs the Major says,Ó he moved nearer. ÒPractice makes perfect.Ó He smiled as ZÕs eyes grew wider and wider for surprise and shock. He pointed back to the book without moving an inch away from the terrified agent.
ÒCome on, letÕs practice this together.Ó
***
Just a few minutes earlier, Z would have given everything he owned not to be there; not to have to satisfy a co-workerÕs sick, insane sexual desire.
He was sitting on the chair, all his clothes still on, but G had stood up and was trying to loosen his tie and slide a hand inside his shirt.
Z wanted to struggle and run away to report to the Major what was just happening, but his body and brain were paralyzed by horror. He wasnÕt able to make a single move, least of all to fight the other agent, who was now running his hands on his chest through the thin fabric of his shirt as he spoke.
ÒOk, Tset, letÕs start with something rather easyÉÓ he made a show of thinking about it for a while, then suggested: ÒWhat if you sit still and I straddle you?Ó
Just the very thought of it made Z lose his voice. He opened his mouth to speak his refusal, but no sound came out. His throat was dry.
G took his silence as a yes and moved to straddle Z on the chair as heÕs just said. As he did so, his skirt fluttered, showing his underwear. ZÕs stomach rolled at that sight.
G didnÕt stop there, though. After settling on top of Z, he went on to remove his own jacket and then his t-shirt, his black t-shirt with the red inscription:
Motherfucker
which explained well GÕs intentions. Only at that point poor Z found the courage to shook his head fiercely. He opened his mouth, but G quickly put a finger on his lips.
ÒHush! YouÕll enjoy this.Ó He assured with a smile, then went back to his work of kissing and lightly biting ZÕs neck, leaving a few big stains of red lipstick, while running his hands on his chest and unbuttoning his shirt.
IÕll go to Alaska, Z couldnÕt avoid thinking as he, defencelessly, was letting G have his way with him. If he finds out, IÕll go to Alaska.
Anyway, despite all his worries and his shock, he had to admit at least to himself that having G doing those things to him wasÉarousing. It wasnÕt so different than doing it with a woman.
Suddenly Z felt G starting to move his hips forward, rubbing his own crotch against the blondÕs. That brought him quickly back to reality. His crotch, damn it! What am I doing?
ÒNoÉS-stopÉÓ he tried to say, but those words came out of his mouth in a strange moan ofÉhorror? Shock? Or, more simply, pleasure?
G raised his eyebrows like a child. ÒDo you want me to stop, Tset?Ó Then he lowered his head, staring between the blond agentÕs legs. He smiled. ÒMmmhÉI donÕt think soÉÓ
Z looked down, too, and his eyes grew as big as billiard balls. There, between his legs, where GÕs hands were reaching, was a big bulge. A visible, undeniable, fucking bulge!
Z couldnÕt find the words to justify the fact that he was turned on, and, mostly, that he didnÕt want to! He just kept silent, staring blankly at G.
ÒYour body seems to like this a lot, doesnÕt it?Ó G asked. He put a hand on ZÕs erection, stroking it through the fabric of his trousers, producing a low moan from the other agent. ÒYes?Ó
The world around Z had almost stopped. He was totally caught up in that weird, wrong situation. Maybe a little too caught upÉ
ÉAnd when he realized it, it was too late.
A few loud footsteps, then the door of the room slammed as the Major stormed in.
ÒTset, have you finishedÉÓ Words died down in his throat at what he saw. ÒW-wasÉÓ He stared, stunned, for a few moments, then rage overtook him. ÒYou IDIOTS! What the hell are you doing?Ó
ÒOh, shit!Ó G jumped off Z like a cat and immediately grabbed his shirt and jacket, trying to cover his partial nudity as best as he could.
Z was in a even worse state: half-unbuttoned shirt, his neck stained with G's red lipstick, and, worst of all, a rather evident, growing hard-on. He would have never wanted to be seen in such a situation. Shit, shit, shit! Holy shit! Scheisse! I should have done as I had been ordered! Damn me!
As the Major shouted, threatening to kill them both, he wished he could just vanish into thin air or escape to Alaska on his own before his boss could send him there kicking his ass.
That's it. I'm definitely going to Alaska, he thought, hiding his face behind his hand.
Damn Kama Sutra! Damn those perverted ways to have fun!
And damn G!