Chapter Six
An Unlikely Band Of Thieves

The Doctor pushed open the door to his lab, pulling the TARDIS key from his pocket as he crossed the room.

Eroica and the Major came in behind him and stopped dead in their tracks.

“A Police Box,” Eroica said in a bewildered tone. “I thought they were being dismantled. How did you get hold of one?”

“It’s not a Police Box,” Jason said as he came in behind him. “That’s the TARDIS. It only looks like a Police Box.” He crossed the room as he spoke, stopping at the now open door. The Doctor was already in the console room, clearing the coordinates from the navigational computer.

“Do you expect us all to squeeze in there together?” the Major asked sharply.

Eroica threw him a sideways glance and smiled brightly. “What a wonderful idea,” he said happily. He got as far as the door and stopped again, seeing the impossibly large console room within. He threw Jason a questioning look. “Is that done with mirrors?”

“Why don’t you see for yourself?” the Alterran invited.

Eroica entered. A moment later, he was popping his head back out the door. “Major, you are not going to believe this! It’s enormous in here.” So saying, he vanished back into the TARDIS.

Not surprisingly, the Major did not believe it and continued to scowl at Jason, who shrugged and entered the Police Box. “Suit yourself,” he sighed. “But if you don’t want to be left behind, I suggest you get in here.”

Ever suspicious, the Major slowly crossed to the open TARDIS doorway. He heard Jason’s voice calling, “Hello, K-9!” a few seconds before he reached it.

Inside the console room, the Doctor was circling the hexagonal central control console. He looked up, seeing the thief looking around the room is an awed silence. He hadn’t even made the usual comment about it being bigger on the inside than on the outside.

“I didn’t think it was possible,” Jason remarked, meeting his friend’s gaze. “You’ve finally managed to shut him up.”

“Yes.” The Doctor suddenly realized they were one short. “Where’s the Major?”

“Still trying to decide whether homophobia is worse than claustrophobia, I should imagine,” Eroica replied dismissively.

“Freud would’ve had a field day with that man,” Jason remarked, putting the box containing the bowls on the floor. He went back out the exterior doors, returning a moment later with the protesting Klaus. He thrust the officer further into the room before crossing to the console and hitting the door lever, closing the exterior doors.

“What is this?” the Major demanded, looking around himself in a combination of bewilderment and annoyance.

“This, Major, is the TARDIS,” the Doctor replied. “And as Dorian so succinctly put it, it’s a space ship.”

Before the Major could voice any further objections, K-9 glided across the control room floor. He took an alarmed step back. “What’s that?” he demanded.

“That’s my dog,” the Doctor replied in an indignant tone before getting down beside the automation. Eroica was just beside him and was watching in delighted fascination. “K-9,” the Doctor said firmly, “this is Dorian Red Gloria, Earl of Gloria, also known as Eroica. Identify: friend.”

K-9 swiveled around to face Eroica, a small red disk in the center of his eye panel extending out in his direction. “Scanning. Identify; Dorian Red Gloria, Earl of Gloria, also known as Eroica. Affirmative. Friend.” K-9’s wire tail wagged at the same time and the thief laughed. Then he looked over at the Major. “Your turn, I think, Major.”

“Nein. You keep that thing away from me, Doctor,” the Major objected.

Jason ground his teeth. “Major?”

“What?”

“I am going to choke on this.” Jason turned to K-9. “K-9, this is Major Klaus Heinz von dem Eberbach of NATO. Identify—” He gave a heavy sigh before forcing himself to say, “Identify: friend.”

Eroica had to stifle a laugh at the expression on Jason’s face. The Major stiffened visibly as the sensor telescoped in his direction.

“Scanning,” K-9 chirped brightly. “Identify; Major Klaus Heinz von dem Eberbach. Affirmative. Friend.”

“Excellent!” the Doctor said happily. “Now, Dorian. Where is our first destination?”

* * *

Eroica watched the time column in the center of the mushroom shaped central control console as it rhythmically rose and fell, the ship humming around him. “What happens now?” he asked.

“You and I steal bowl number one,” Jason replied succinctly. “If your information is accurate, we shouldn’t have any problems at all.”

“My information is always accurate,” the thief replied in a slightly affronted tone.

“Excellent. Let’s have a look see,” the Doctor enthused, activating hover mode. The room was filed with the sound of the TARDIS materializing. He activated the scanner revealing the view from several hundred feet above the building in question.

“Seems pretty secluded,” Jason observed. “How far from the city are we?”

The Doctor told him and then looked over at Eroica, who was looking at the image in fascination. “It’s just like the view from my zeppelin,” he remarked.

“Your what?”

The thief did not seem to hear him. He was explaining that the building was the first of several that were planned for the area. The one they wanted housed an extensive art collection.

“Who does it belong to?” the Major asked practically.

Eroica gave him an innocent look before replying, “Vittorio Salliari.”

The Major snorted, waving a hand in the air. It was obvious he knew the name and equally obvious that he did not care for the man.

“And who’s he when he’s home?” the bewildered Jason asked.

“A very rich and very unpleasant man, if the history books are accurate,” the Doctor replied from his place across the room. “He was said to have one of the finest collections of pottery and art glass in the country at this point in time.”

“His wife is an equally unpleasant person,” Eroica injected.

“You’re being too kind, Eroica,” the Major said with a snort. “The woman is a Harpy.”

“For once, Major, I think even you are being too generous about that harridan.”

“Do you lot know any pleasant people?” Jason wanted to know.

There was a lead-lined box on a table in the control room that held the three bowls that the thief had turned over to them. Eroica crossed to it, and idly leaned on it with his elbow. “I took the liberty of relieving Señior Salliari of one of these bowls already.”

The Major’s eyes narrowed but he did not reply. While he did not approve of the thief’s chosen occupation, it appealed to his odd sense of justice that Salliari and his wife should be annoyed by him in such a manner. They were indeed thoroughly unpleasant people who believed they could push people around simply because they were rich. How he hated them.

Jason gave a small sigh. “So, how do we go about relieving this charming couple of this one?”